


Poison

by double_negative



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: (not a huge lot tho), (or something like that), Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood Drinking, Blood and Torture, Light BDSM, M/M, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Sibling Incest, Worship, this is so fucked up i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:41:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9223499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/double_negative/pseuds/double_negative
Summary: A special kind of training.Mind the warnings.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Can also be titled "Illumi opens a huge can of worms".
> 
> AU detail: Killua stays at home and becomes a true Zoldyck assassin, which makes him more than a little fucked up (maybe even more so than Illumi). Killua is also 16 in this, because while I appreciate sin, I'm not ready to burn in hell just yet for writing shota bdsm.
> 
> This is for my lovely girlfriend, as usual. A really late christmas present. for you, my love and your horrible awful pairings that I will never admit to loving.  
> And also sorry in advance. This is not as good as I wanted it to be.

_well, you just leave me nailed here_

_hanging like Jesus on this cross_

_I'm just dying for your sins - an aide to the cause_

_(twist twist twist) it can go a little deeper_

_(twist twist twist) I'm wearin' these chains_

_(twist twist twist) you make it hurt real good_

_(twist twist twist) I love the pain_

He was supposed to count strikes, to keep his mind clear and focused through the pain, through the sensation of blood welling in deep gashes in his skin, but somehow he got distracted with the one who wielded the whip. Long spindly fingers, almost bone white with elegant nails filed to a sharp tip clutching at a leather-wrapped handle. A face, so thin and doll like and elegant, unlike anyone in his family, a perfect porcelain mask lacking any emotion with dull black pits for eyes. Hair, matte and heavy, falling around his shoulders, swaying with every move, every strike. His brother is ugly. He is horrifying. And yet, Killua can't take his eyes off him. It's especially strange to him now, since it's just training, nothing else. Another test of indurance, completely unnecessary at that point since he usually completes them with ease. But father said it was necessary, so Killua complied. He was surprised, though, because usually his mother was the one delivering the blows and not Illumi. Maybe that change was the thing that trew him off...

\- The number.

Illumi's cold voice cuts worse than a whip and Killua fumbles for an answer, because he doesn't want to admit defeat. It was child's play, a thousand strikes, a test of indurance, he got through it without any problems several times before, so why now is different? Sure, it's the first time the whip is in Illumi's hands... His hands itch in the restraints he's hangin from with ceiling with. Itch to get free and do something, something, anything to be able to focus again on something but his brother's slender form before him. But he fails, again and again, thoughts returning to that unusual, horrifyingly beautiful face...

\- Have you ever wondered why you don't look like any of us, aniki?

Illumi looks bewildered and annoyed, if only for a second, but for Killua that second seems infinite. The flash of something on the dark surface of usually dead eyes, slight scrunching of Illumi's nose, head just a little bit tilted to the side.

\- No.

He knows Illumi is lying. He is supposed to lie with questions like these. Because he was the oldest son, the one who was meant to carry the legacy on and yet, he has no defining traits of a Zoldyck and no real will of his own. Surely, he might have pondered even if once or twice, what makes him so different? And if it's really fair to rob him of his destiny just because he's so unlike what he was supposed to be.

\- The number, Killu.

There's no way avoiding it. Illumi is efficient to a fault and he will get his answer no matter what.

\- I got distracted.

Another emotion, fading just as quick. Eyes slanted just a little bit, corners of the mouth in a straight line. Disbelief.

\- You know it means we have to start over?

\- Yeah, sure, aniki.

Now Illumi really looks it him funny. Killua, usually so ready to be over with everything family throws his way, trying to get everything he's ordered done as quick as possible so he would have time for himself willing to continue with the training? Sure, he's failed, but they were already more than halfway done, so now there's no real reason to start over...

\- I have another idea.

In a flash there's a needle right before Killua's face and his synappses are firing out. He has to consciously stop himself from flinching or even worse runnin away, since he can easily tear the restraints off if he needs to. And he really should run, because his brother is one of the people who could kill him without breaking a sweat and who really knows what this needle is coated with.

Instead Killua just watches as Illumi with that same bewildered expression brings a round point of his weapon to one of the bleeding gashes to scoop the blood. And then he lifts it to his mouth, a thin straight line and Killua assumes he's started hallucinating from blood loss at some point, because Illumi's tongue darts out, pale pink and almost pointy like reptiles and licks at the bloody needle like a makeshift lollipop. Then comes an almost appreciative hum, which is more emotion than Illumi has ever shown and then - silence, save for occasional droplet of red falling to the floor from wounds that already started to scab. Feets under ground it's more noticeable how quiet they both are, assassins trained to even breathe without making sound. That quietness is opressive and more than a little awkward.  
  
\- You should stop hanging around Hisoka so much, he rubbed off on you.

Killua tries to save face with that joke, but fails horribly. It's even harder to concentrate now that he knows, a part of him is on Illumi's tongue.

\- You asked me how I feel. At first I felt betrayed. But since its you who's going to be the head of the family, I'm fine with that.

Illumi is scary, he is terrifying, his aura, his mere presence enough to make feral beasts stop dead in their tracks, stunned with unease and fear. And yet Killua wants more of that. He's not a child, he knows how it works. That it's the feeling of the adrenaline rush that he has long forgotten with his excessive training. The feeling of real danger can be addictive too and that's what's Illumis presence always brings out in him. Fear, but also morbid curiosity, some sort of enchantment with that barely human killing machine that is his brother.

He really is unbelievable, both in his looks and performance. His fluid motions, trained to perfection, not a single muscle moving without specific intent, and his body, lean and long, built like a dancer's, agile and flexible, but so impossibly strong. Killua can feel he's staring again, doing the same thing that got them to be here, face to face in complete silence. It feels like there's an eternity between them, looking at each other. Illumi watches him with such reverence, obeisance, those eyes of his searing hot into Killua's flesh, despite being colder than ice. 

In two long strides, Illumi is upon him, so close their noses almost brush and Killu breath hitches in his throat. He doesn't know what to expect, but in his wildest imagination he couldn't see Illumi pressing his serpentine sharp tongue against his neck, licking at the welled blood. Killua knows he needs to scream, no, and why and get off, but he doesnt want to. Instead he wants to tangle his fingers in Illumi's hair, but as he tries to free one of his hands, Illumi's voice cuts him off mid-tug.

\- If you get out of those I'll pin you up myself.

And the faintest glint of Illumi's poisoned needles is enough to make Killua reconsider. Instead he just tries to stay as motionless and as quiet as he can with his older brother licking at the wounds he himself inflictied.

Not like a dog, more like a venomous snake, poison spreading heat through Killua's veins, making desire and dread swell in his chest almost painfully. Maybe it's what he wanted all along, so wrong and disgusting, but so fascinating with the rising toxicity and need. To be broken, to be devoured and to be worshipped as a deity still. One obsession in turn for another, Illumi blindly devoted and he, so completely hypnotized by just how beautiful and dealy his brother is. Paralyzed, rooted to a spot like prey in predators gaze, hanging limply, waiting to be devoured.

One of Illumi's razor sharp nails catches onto skin and suddenly with that new, closer, more intimate pain, Killua feels his shorts becoming too tight. There's no way illumi doesn't notice, especially with those small moans Killua lets out as his btother laps at his skin. Now there's not much blood at all, it feels like illumi is just grazing the sensitive damaged skin with featherlight kisses. As he comes up, his eyes are like vortexes, sucking Killuas soul in them, and the world could just end at that moment, but Killua leans in for a kiss. He's not quite sure how it's done, so the control switches to Illumi immidiately, but Killua doesnt mind, melting into the feeling, tasting the salty tang of his own blood on another's tongue, mixed with something sickeningly sweet that might as well be that poison he always imagined on his brother's teeth. The kiss itself is unlike anything Killua imagined. It's slow, languid, testing. Almost if there's another line Illumi's afraid to overstep.

Still Illumi's hands travel all over Killua's body, stroking and grabbing, nails catching onto freshly scabbed wounds opening them again to taste fresh blood and Killua feels like he's burning up, melting like wax on those slender fingers, staining them again and again. 

Even if they weren't brothers what they feel for each other in that moment would have been completely wrong, but right now no one can see them and no one can judge. No one will ever know. As Killua's voice returns to him, able to speak instead of just letting out soft broken gasps and moans, he can't handle this anymore. Those hot lips on raw bruised flesh, that clever tongue pressing inside his wounds, savouring the taste like fine wine. Who would be twisted enough to enjoy this, he asks himself like he doesn't know the answer already.

_ You really love me, aniki, don't you?

\- I do.

Answer, more like a breath on his abused skin, but even that second that Illumi's away from him feels painful. So Killua decides to continue pushing his luck. If that means they don't stop, he would be willing to risk anything. Just for this to continue forever or at least for as long as he's able to handle it.

\- You would do anythng for me?

\- Anything.

Another answer - a hot breath. And just that single word makes Killua's whole body shudder. Such a magnificent beast, completely and utterly at his command.

\- Then let me down.

When Illumi pulls away, it's there again, that doubt, and Killua's heart skips a beat, because he knows, Illumi is in over his head too right now. There's no reason for him to let Killua down and away from his crushing grasp.

\- You said you would do anything. I will not run away.

If there's any real way to run from someone like you, Killua thinks. He wants to be a butterfly that chose to fly closer to fire, not the one stuck pinned down in a frame. So he easily yanks his hands out of the restraints, once Illumi lets up, metal scraping over unmarked skin of his palms, pinkish bands around the wrist, just a little bit sore, just the tiniest surge of pain that seems welcome at that point.

\- So will you show me how it's done, aniki?

Illumi looks ready to pounce on him the second he tries to run and it amuses Killua to no end. Like he didn't notice already, just how much they both wanted this to happen. But it's understandable, Illumi always thought him to be some kind of a saint, someone pure and undisturbed, far from carnal pleasures. And that's exactly the reason Killua feels his lips curl up into a devilish smirk when he deal another blow to that perfect image in his brother's head.

\- Sex. I want to have sex with you.

And with that Illumi falls, like he's truly been struck down, his knees hitting the floor - a mockery to an orison and Killua approaches him to take his face in his hands, caressing those perfect cheekbones, that sharp chin. The angle is awkward, but it makes Illumi look like he's praying, praying to him and that thought leaves a pleasant buzz in Killua's mind. He looks almost angelic like this, kneeling before him, skin unmarked by scars despite years spent fighting, a perfect alabaster sculpture. As Killua leans forward to press a kiss to those lips, he feels like a god bestowing a gift upon his most faithful follower.

Killu pushes him further, until Illumi's back meets cold stone floor, but the older doesn't show discomfort at that, he still looks taken aback by shock. He looks so strange, almost bewildered, but there's a tiny hint of blush on his cheeks, and it's beautiful, Killua decides as he straddles his brother. His nails are now talons too, ripping away at Illumi's clothing, careful not to damage skin under them, especially when he pulls out Illumi's cock from his pants. It's even better than he imagined, slender and pale and long, and most importantly, already leaking. He likes this too, he is just as fucked up. It's like a final permission to do as Killua pleases. It's Illumi's turn to feel stunned, frozen in place, with unmistakeable desire sloshing in his dark eyes, unable to move a muscle, because of how sudden the whole situation is.

And then Killua frees himself from his shorts, bringing their cocks together, smearing precum over both of them, as he picks up the pace, sharp, irregular, unforgiving, he doesn't moan or whine, he's long past that, in his burning arousal he suddenly can form full sentences of things he never imagined saying aloud. "I want to feel you inside me next time. I want to ride you. I want to hear you say my name while I milk every drop from you". It's poison that spreads through Killua's veins, making him lose control, rut against others skin mindlessly, driven by need. He watches as Illumi takes in a sharp breath with the next especially cruel tug and it lights the whole of Killua's body on fire. Unrelenting, skin on skin, it's everythin Killua wanted, but it still is barely enough, because he wants more, more, he wants to be ruined, destroyed, torn apart by Illumi and stitched together anew. Perfect. Like a saint. He thinks of those silky strands wrapped around his fingers, of those thin lips curled around his cock and his base pleas become something else entirely "I want you to worship me like this forever". "I want you to see me as your god and master".

And it's because of those words Illumi comes, and Killua can't help but teeter over the edge himself, seing his brother's breathing hitch, his whole body spasm, with expression so intimate, so vulnerable on his perfect mask of a face. Stroking himself until completion, seeing cum painting Illumi's stomach, the mess he made of his clothing, Killua doesn't feel guilty or disgusted. He knows. It was all he wanted all along. But for now he doesn't allow the haze of pleasure to cloud his mind. This changed everything and there's no more going back from this moment they share and for some reason he feels uneasy, flustered when the glow of his orgasm subsides. Illumi is still under him, not moving, not saying anything, just breathing. With his lips parted and stained with Killua's blood. And Killua leans in, to taste that blood again, kiss crushing now, sloppy and wet and Illumi answers, all teeth and tongue and when Killua pulls away for breath, a string of saliva is connecting them and Illumi is smiling.

The realisation dawns of him as arousal starts stirring anew. He just slept with a monster.

And he wouldn't mind doing it again as many times as needed. Because he's already been poisoned and there's no coming back from that.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry, Killua, my pure precious son ;_;
> 
> The lyrics are from Nine Inch Nails' "Twist" which is a bad song you should never listen to.


End file.
